This week

This week is so much better than the last couple of weeks. Something was really wrong then but things seem resolved now for the better. I am getting used to this year in uni and there is no way I am quitting...not by a long shot!

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going, it's called taking the bull by the horns. So, second year....here I come!

Make a promise only if you can keep it, otherwise, shut up!

Something else, whenever I promise to do something for someone, I make sure I do it even if it is late. And if I cannot, I don't and explain why.

Recently, someone promised to do something for me. I told this person my position on the matter and the response was rather promising. I figured that instead of going round in circles, I should just call a spade a spade, which I did. The consequences, were shocking. First, no response for what seemed like eternity. Secondly, a half-hearted response came which was not what I had expected bearing in mind that the opposite was promised. I was at a loss of words and felt like I was being a burden. Thirdly, I decided to opt out and leave things as they were pre-promise.

Fact - someone raised my hopes and dashed them soon after.
Fact - I wonder if I will ever ask for a favour again.
Fact - One knock down should not be the determining factor for every such opportunity in the future.
Fact - I probably will put on a brave shield and ask for help but this time with the remote expectation that help may not arrive so that I am not so disappointed when this eventually does happen.
Fact - I am an optimist, not a pessimist so surely there must be a reason why things are as they are (that is what I would like to believe).
Fact - I am down but not out!

2nd year

This year started and I feel like dropping out. It is full of so many things going on sometimes I wonder which way to go. As if all the pressure is not enough, I have been allocated a placement to an area that I cannot find on the map!

Everything seems to be getting worse by the day and even if I try to cheer myself up, looks like something negative is waiting round the corner to kill my lifted spirit. It's like having an invisible battle only you cannot see the opponent. I know people go through a rough patch sometimes in thier life but this one seems to be endless. It's making me lose my sparkle and my motivation is at an all-time low.

Seeking assistance is like throwing blows in the air because everyone seems to have or suddenly create a reason why they cannot assist. I am lost for options and my words seem to crumble to pieces. I think my mood has changed a lot and I feel that I have hit rock bottom real hard. My bum hurts from that huge fall I recently had and my head is constantly throbbing from what, I don't know.

At the moment, everything seems a blur. It's like trying to find your way on a path laced with cobwebs from top to bottom, looking like cotton wool streaks longer than I can imagine. The atmosphere is eerie with a ghost-like silence and the cold and clammy weather is not helping. It feels like I am playing a part for which I have been made up, almost like scenes from a zombie movie!

It doesn't feel like me at all. I want out of this misery, I am tired of being tired. At the moment a lot of things are irritating me. A critical analysis shows me that my coping strategies are getting rusty so I need to polish my act. But how? Someone help me!

A huge thank you!

My first year is soon coming to an end. It has been a very challenging year, not only academically but in every aspect of my life that I can think of.

Times have been tough, times have been good, times have also been exciting.
It has been a time of mixed emotions which have all been welcome because the impact has made me grow in ways I could not have imagined.

I must say that sometimes I felt like I could not cope, like 'what's the use?'
But immediately after, my courage would push me back in the driving seat, set my gears on and get me in motion. I am glad I listened to reason because I am seeing the fruits of my labour.

Thank you to all those people who helped me along the way, be it by positive feedback or negative criticisms. Thank you to those who taught me this academic year, your contribution to my knowledge is much appreciated.

Thank you to my heavenly Father for making everything possible according to His promise in the Holy Bible. I look forward to the next year and with my faith intact, I know that I will survive.

I cannot believe it!

The year began a year ago and now it is coming to an end. My placements and lectures have been great and the learning awesome. Exams have been a welcome challenge as has been other assignments that I have done. I am so happy that I can see the end of this tunnel approaching. It's been worth all the time I invested in it and I am so looking forward to the next one.

For all of us who have successfully completed this leg of our journey all I can say is congratulations and see you next year!

To my lecturers, tutors and other members of staff who have helped me in various ways, thank you very much and see you next time round.

Enjoy the long break! Cheers!

Why do it all the time?

Today I was listening to a message from TBN Europe by John Hagee, one of America's most distinguished pastors and it got me thinking...

Why do we say we hate something that we do yet we keep on doing it? It's like letting yourself down, betraying yourself over and over again. If you say you want to stop doing something, you better mean it and THEN stop doing it for crying out loud!

How do you get rid of a bad habit? You replace it with a good one, immediately. The only way you will stop doing that thing that holds you back and stops you from making progress is by doing another thing that builds you up and propels you one step further to achieve your goals.

How do you do it? First, you need to recognize that bad thing that you so desperately want to get rid of and call it by its name (like holding the bull by its horns) and then replace in with the name of what you would rather be doing. Pray about it and believe that the bad habit has been replaced by the good one. Therefore, start doing the good thing and soon it will become your new habit, candidly replacing the bad one. Okay, easier said than done. But if you don't start trying, who will loose?

Come on! Shed that pride off yourself and take up humility. You will soon start seeing the difference in your life.

Stay blessed.

This is me - accept me or reject me, but this is me

I have a way of doing things that I appreciate many people would find bizarre or simply complicated. Everyone is entitled to their opinion so whatever you think of me is up to you. I believe that we are all unique people with personalities that are not only shaped by our genetic make-up but by the personal experiences we have encountered, and still do, in our life journey day by day.

So it goes without say that the way I choose to use my time will be totally different from the way someone else does. Our circumstances in life are different and they lead us to aspire to become who we are. I am a high achiever and I settle for nothing but the best. I like challenges and I never give up, however hard things get. I believe that tough times do not last, but tough people do (I read this in a book) and it has become one of my philosophies of life. I am a type A personality and I am not ashamed of myself. I am not good at failing and the rest is history. I also do not expect everyone to be enthusiastic about the way I present myself or do what I choose to do. So here goes....

Life is what you make it, how you manage those valuable resources that God so graciously gives you. If you are having trouble managing your resources, I suggest that you seek help instead of putting down others who are visibly trying to make a difference.

I am not angry, but I know that no obstacle put in my path will stop me, in Jesus' name. AMEN.

I am aware of my weaknesses as I journey through life and I make every effort to work on what needs improving. I pray for guidance regularly from My Heavenly Father and I know from the bottom of my heart that my prayers get answered one by one.

Thank you, LORD.

First placement over

Last week saw the completion of my first placement. I was very sad to leave but glad to be moving on to other learning environments. I really enjoyed my placement and was overjoyed at the amount of learning I was able to achieve. I gave the ward a 'Thank You' card and some chocolate just to show my appreciation and I got a voucher in return. They really liked me and felt that I worked very hard. To that I agree.

Well, that curtain has officially been drawn so now I am back to class and the going is great. I must admit that I am enjoying myself at every level of my training so far. Everyone has been supportive, some have stretched my patience but I am learning to cope with different personalities. Tolerance and perseverance are in constant use in my vocabulary and in my manner!

I am looking forward to this next term and with God's abiding grace, all will go well.
Cheers!

I bought a book

I bought a book on anger management today.
I don't know why I did, but I bought that book today.
I must have had a good reason so I bought the book today.

Maybe it is because I had been angry the day before.
Maybe I wanted to learn how to deal with this before.
Maybe I should take control of this before.
Maybe I have realised I loose control before.

Before I do something I will regret.
Before I say something I will regret.
Before I loose a friendship I will regret.
Before I loose my respect or my job then I will regret.
Before I taint my reputation, and then I will regret.

So that's why I bought a book on anger management today.

by Pauline Okposi

A helping hand

On Saturday I met a lady at work who told me that she was starting her studies in her quest to be a nurse. She, however, was finding it difficult to understand Psychology and Sociology and was thinking of giving up the course. I could not hide my shock and amazement! I asked her if she was serious about quiting and, honestly, felt sorry for her but also wondered what steps she had taken to solve the problem. Okay, I am the kind of person, who, if things get tough, I get tougher. I am so determined to succeed and I never give up at the first sign of trouble. I suppose that's why I reacted the way that I did. I encouraged her to get help from her tutor because they are there to help, even though they may be busy. I even suggested to her to email her tutor with her questions and to try to stay behind after a lesson to have a concept explained further should she be afraid to ask when everybody else is there.

I suddenly remembered that I had some books to get rid of and that they would be ideal for this lady so I told her that I would get them for her the next day, which I did. When I gave her the books and wished her luck with her studies, she was very shocked and surprised to see me in the first place! I think, she did not expect me to bring the books, she probably thought that I was just saying things. But to her surprise, I meant it.

I often listen to Joyce Meyer on the God channel and she says a lot of encouraging things. Among those was that we should strive to be people of integrity - that is, people who say what they mean and mean what they say. I am such a person. When I say I will do something for someone, that is exactly what I will do and I like to do so as soon as possible so that I do not languish in the excuse that I forgot. I am a person of my words and my actions speak for themselves. Thank God for people who have the ability to inspire others to succeed such as Our Lord, Jesus Christ, President Barack Obama, John Bevere, Joel Osteen...the list is endless.

I intend to be a woman of good works and a person who makes a positive contribution to other people's lives, however minimal. To God be the Glory.....Amen.

A dawn awaits.....

I woke up today to the realization that I was attending one of our sessions at the university for the last time until later on this year. That told me that I had made so much progress already in my training and I felt so happy and mostly, content.

I have worked hard so far and I am still getting there with my studies. I think I did well in my exams and I wanted to share this with someone. But when you tell somebody something you have done and they instead answer you with what you could have done, or remind you of how far you still were from a 100% achievement, what would you make of it?

I do not know.....

I find that sharing your experience with someone is intended to give you an insight into how much progress you are making not for the person to put you down and make you feel like you have not achieved anything. But then again, thinking critically, they could have meant to say something as a motivator not a demotivator.

I had a chat with someone one day and all I did was to point out what they had not done and they got really angry with me and felt that I was being insensitive. It was only later that I realized what I had been doing. From that day onwards, I decided that I would never put people down and that I would speak words and do actions that would make people grow rather than shrink away. I would truthfully give my thoughts on a matter but make sure that I do not tear down some one's sense of self. And I have done that since. So I can recognize when the same thing happens to me and I know when to let it be. (But I must say it is annoying when the only thing someone sees is what you have not done and totally fails to acknowledge what you have - God Bless them!)

Life stinks!

My 1st placement is nearly ending I cannot believe it!

I am enjoying my placement so much that when I looked at my rota, I could not believe that I don't have to book in any more shifts! I am about to finish my first placement! Those weeks have flown by and I just cannot believe it.

It has been a very engaging and exhilarating experience for me. To think that I am leaving so soon makes me upset. I enjoy working at this ward and the learning opportunities have been marvelous. Not a day passes by without me learning something new. I am so grateful to everybody who has helped me in whatever capacity. I will surely miss them. The thing is that I have to move on to other areas so that I can continue to learn and expand my knowledge if I am to be a well-rounded general nurse! I am looking forward to my next semester and all being well, it should be even more exciting.

Got to go now, my cooking awaits me.
Cheers...

And flake by flake, the snow fell...

This week has seen a major disruption in the UK because of the devastating effects of the ever so beautiful snow! It is such an irony! Snow looks wonderful when it has settled on whatever it finds on its way down and it is such a shame to wade through it and ruin this immaculate yet delicate temporary landscape. Unfortunately, this is the case where beauty is expensive. In spite of all its splendour and the joy it brings, especially for those who like to play in it and build snowmen, snow causes mayhem by grinding roads, rails and airports - virtually the whole transport system into a halt.

People just cannot commute anymore and part of what forms our daily occupation becomes unattainable and then frustration sets in. The result is that snow is no longer as attractive as previously thought. I suppose that if it fell and did not hold everyone prisoner wherever they were, the joy of its presence would not wear thin so quickly. Yesterday I heard a debate on television and one of the questions was about the disruption of snow and what should be done to stop it, for example, putting more grit and salt on the roads, being more prepared and so on. The fact is that no one can really predict the extent to which mother nature can pour out its snow on us and sometimes not even the most prepared country can cope with a natural disaster. So let's face it, when nature speaks, we all have no choice but to humbly obey instead of blaming whoever for whatever should have been done whenever. Get the message?

I had to miss work some days this week because I could not drive through the snow-filled roads to get to my destination and to be honest I was really disappointed. I was so looking forward to getting to work. I suppose I will have to compensate for this absence some other way. I love working and having to miss it when there is no other alternative is, to me, a very bitter pill to swallow.
Enough of that complaining. I still see the whiteness, purity and delicate snow flakes neatly settled on whatever it has fallen on to be as beautiful as my eyes can see.

Enjoy it while it lasts!

I like watching neighbours...

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1600103669/bclid1600108116/bctid9114983001

Placement continues

I have not written for long and that could only mean one thing...I am busy. I started my placement and it has been very busy indeed. Being a student nurse, to me, is a privilege and the work that comes with it is massive. But I am not complaining. I am enjoying myself and learning new things everyday. I am also learning new ways of doing old things so I am learning!

I had a great birthday in January and it was the same day Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America so it was celebrations all round. I felt proud for him and his achievements and he has such a beautiful and supportive family. Michelle is brilliant and those two daughters are such darlings! Well, the world is changing and so are we!

My placement carries on and I just love being myself. Nursing is a learning experience which never ends and, once again, I am proud to be a student nurse. Got to go now because duty calls.

Take care.